Life List
Nicky Beer
I want to be a better poet
but I’m afraid
of all the wrong things.
A green beach
umbrella loose
and spinning across
the sand.
The way
the oyster smiles
when I tear
its face open.
All my exes
meeting up
and agreeing
that there’s something
vaguely unsettling
about my nipples.
That I will never
know whether
or not it was really
a red-tailed hawk
that I saw
soaring over
that smoldering
supermarket.
That the results
will be positive.
That the results
will be negative.
That the doctor
will insist I’m full
of someone
else’s blood.
Someone
waiting for me
at the end
of this sentence
with the last
question
mark
I’ll ever need.
Nicky Beer is a bi/queer writer, and the author of The Octopus Game (Carnegie Mellon, 2015) and The Diminishing House (Carnegie Mellon, 2010), both winners of the Colorado Book Award for Poetry. Her third book of poems, Real Phonies and Genuine Fakes, was published by Milkweed Editions March 2022, and was awarded the Lambda Literary Award for Bisexual Poetry. Her poems have been published in Best American Poetry, Poetry, The Nation, The New Yorker, The Southern Review, Kenyon Review, and elsewhere. She is a professor at the University of Colorado Denver, where she is a poetry editor for the journal Copper Nickel.